There are a lot of things I’ve been learning about myself over the past few months years. (One includes wearing sunscreen on my face, can you see my freckles from sunworshipping days in college?) After I turning 25 I began to grow comfortable in my skin. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been pretty independent. At the age of 17 I moved for college from Nor Cal to Arizona, lived in Los Angeles for a few years post-college working in the TV industry, moved to Phoenix for a reporting job, bought my first home at 23, stopped asking my parents for money at 23.5 when I landed a real, good paying career job that could sustain my lifestyle, and started my first biz at 24. But while I was checking off all the adult “to-do’s” I wanted to accomplish before 30, it didn’t necessarily mean I thought too in depth about who I was becoming along the way.
I’m in my late 20’s, and I’ve got it down now. Well, I’ve been getting it for a few years. What is all this faith stuff people ask. Tell me your testimony, some say. Did you just decide to be this way one day? Too many questions, I’m not sure if I have the answers. I just point to Him and give Him all the glory. For my life, my situations, my career, my successes, and my being. Simply put I am an example of God’s grace and my success is due to his choice to bless me. My talents are all because of Him. During all this growing up stuff, I’ve really begun to realize that life is short. Too short to sweat the small stuff, over analyze, or do anything that isn’t worthwhile. And I don’t want to spend any more of my days upset, regretting, or crying – I left those days behind when I blew out the candles on my 26th birthday (note: I am not 26 now). Life goes on, with or without a good attitude and the days of your life pass by without the chance for a revisit.
Someone asked me how I handled stress. I had to think about it and I replied, “Stress is an attitude choice.” Yes, I am optimistic *wink*. However, while I am optimistic, I realize that life isn’t perfect, and so I handle the disappointments, and can still press on without my 19-year-old freak out or cry fest. I am a very happy girl, what’s to complain about, really?
I went to bed the other night with so much anticipation for the future I could hardly stand it. I also took a 3.5 hour “nap” that day so that probably threw me off . I just can’t wait. For more happy days. For the rest of my life. Because I figure now that I’ve got this self thing figured out and squared away, I think it should get easier from here on out – because I have Him to carry me.
I want to take pictures like Karen Russell who captures her family life so beautifully. I want to travel to Greece, China, Japan and Boston (yes, I am aware it doesn’t quite fit the list, but I do come fall time). I want to take my Canon with me and document it in ways that I see, feel, and experience it. I want to learn more, read more, go outside more and eat more. The next time it’s pouring rain outside, I hope I’ll have someone I’m crazy about sitting next to me and I’ll grab him outside and we can splash, jump and kiss in the rain.
When I was at Muhummad Ali’s Celebrity Fight Night a few months ago a man came up to me and asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was a bit confused, as if I wasn’t grown up yet (?) I replied, “Um, a wife, a mother, a woman of the Lord.” He looked a bit confused, but I had to dash off before my carriage turned into a pumpkin. But that was the honest truth, even if it wasn’t a traditional answer.
I want to meet as many people as I can in this world so I can love them. God has given me the ability to connect to people through love. I love anything and everything (minus cats, pigeons, and roof rats), I have patience for those who are lost and may seem undeserving, and my heart beats forgiveness. And because this is so deep within every cell of my body, I can’t have anyone telling me that it’s wrong.
I catch myself smiling more and more when I’m by myself. And that, is a wonderfully fantastic thing.
